Sunday, October 01, 2006

Acronym of the day: WAF
WAF stands for Wife Acceptance Factor. Essentially it means how well your new Dolby Digital, THX Certified 5.1 Surround Sound system fits in with your wife's Pottery Barn catalog inspired living room. I picked up this acronym while searching for a replacement to my 1000 watt Onkyo 6.1 system (which is now for sale if anyone wants it). WAF is talked about frequently on all the audio/video forums like Audioholics, AVSForum, and the HTPC/PVR sites. Apparently, there are a lot of husbands with wives who can't see the beauty of massive vibrating wooden boxes pointed at their heads with wires splayed all around the living room.
Nowadays, it seems like everybody is making up some sort of certification/approval/rating that is conspicuously placed all over various products and its packaging. Looking at a modern audio system, you might expect to see these badges: DTS 96/24, DTS decoder, Dolby Digital, DTS-ES decoder, Dolby Pro Logic II, Dolby Pro Logic IIx, Dolby Digital Surround EX, THX Certified. Even the box that my router comes in has all these badges: WiFi Certified bg, SecureEasySetup WPA2 & WMM, Compatible with | Wireless-B (802.11b) Wireless-G(802.11g), Symantec Internet Security.
Some of these badges also carry a monetary value. You can't just willy-nilly stick one of these badges on. In some cases you gotta pass some form of actual certifcation and pay some guy a lot of money to do it. Since this could be a very lucrative venture, I'd like to be the first to introduce my own certification... The WAF Rating. The purpose of this is simple. Customers who buy things with badges are typically guys. These guys may not always involve their wifes in the buying process (how may women do you see at BestBuy?). Rather than buying something that may force them to sleep on the couch, it would be great to have a product independantly approved by a jury of wives so they could know how likely they can get away with buying it. My rating system is also very simple. It incorporates your wife's best It is based on a 5 diamond system. Every diamond you see here is one less diamond you will have to buy her to let you keep this product. If you see 5 diamonds here, you're off the hook. 4 diamonds, a small diamond ring. 3 diamonds, a pair of diamond earrings. 2 diamonds, you better open an account at Tiffany's, etc.

If you're interesting in certifying your product for a WAF rating, please leave me a comment.

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